Page 12 - FebMarHER

12 FEB HER
HER Career
Stephanie Thompson: The path to loving yourself first
Story by Felisha Butler, photography by Grace Brown
With her debut novel “Love Yourself First” turning one year old this month, Stepha- nie Thompson has continued to provide a common theme throughout her books since the release of her first work, “Down South: A Collection of Recipes from my Mother.”
“It’s knowing who are you are and what you bring to the table,” Thompson said. “Taking care of yourself first, making your well-being a priority as you care for the ones you love. Self-care is more than bubble baths and spa visits. It’s small things daily that sup- port your mind, body, and spirit. You can’t give from an empty cup.”
Nothing played a more critical role in shaping Thompson’s life than growing up in tiny Emerson with her mother and three siblings while accepting a myriad of responsibilities during her years at home.
“My mother was struggling with undiagnosed depression and so she would have days where she was just emotionally unavailable. ... She would work, but she was really exhausted when she got home so I did all the cooking, all the cleaning, the hair combing, the disciplining. I didn’t complain because she was going through so much and I wanted to help her feel better. ... Thinking back now, I don’t really know how I did it.
“ ... She provided for us what she could on a nurs- ing assistant’s pay which she made maybe $5,000 a year working eight hours a day. That was in the ’70s and ’80s. So by the time I was 18, I didn’t know who I was. I didn’t know anything about the world except for what I saw on TV.”
Upon graduation in May 1986, she made the ulti- mate choice to join the ranks of the Air Force, where she remained in active duty for six years.
“I felt guilty,” she said, referring to her family. “I felt guilty because I had three meals a day. I knew where my food was coming from. I had heat in the winter and I was cool in the summer.”
After spending a few months in the medical records department as her first enlistment, a pro- motion was handed to her in the form of being trans- ferred to the command center. Thompson reenlisted when the time came and was posted overseas for the first Gulf War.
With her base on a list of those to close in 1992, she was given an option: go to Greensboro, S.C., and continue her Air Force career or begin life as a civilian.
And with that, Southern Arkansas University at Magnolia welcomed Thompson as a student where
she earned a bachelor’s degree in Psychology and a master’s in Mental Health Counseling, inspired by her mother.
“ ... Because of what we went through and how you have to navigate life once you come out of a really tough situation” she noted. “I wanted to help. I wanted to help young people and even older people who were going through depression and anxiety.”
With a recognizable strong work ethic, Thomp- son secured a position as a supplemental instruction coordinator where she aided first-generation at-risk
college students for three years and moved forward to procure a state license in order to become a men- tal health therapist.
However, deep down, Thompson knew she want- ed to work for herself and after marrying her hus- band, she switched gears a decade later when the opportunity arose to be a stay-at-home mom and began working on “Down South.”
“When he (my son) went to first grade, I thought ‘I need to do something in my field.’ Something to keep me stimulated and I started writing,” she said.
12 FEB/MAR 2020 ¯ HER MAGAZINE